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Nobody can say I did not try. (If anyone dares, who cast the first stone)

Because if I did. I tried. In every way possible, following all the advice you gave me. But the change never came. And I'm already tired of trying, and hoping.
I realized that all the end-some more than others "end up locked in their own lives and take the head just to watch when it suits them ... or when needed. Promises
go, promises are, and blah, blah, blah ... But in the end is like writing on water or shouting in the wind. For every person I known deep down ends concerned only about herself.

So it's time to change, and start doing the same thing they do all.


"Sometimes, you need to leave to be present"

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Fenix \u200b\u200b... Happiness

Almost like an epiphany, thinking back a while ago, "I thought to conclude it is not a partner what they crave. But I'm looking for a person to lean.
not a girlfriend I want, but someone to hold me when I feel down. 'm as weak as anyone, and I lost my support ... And that's what I'm looking again.

Or at least I think so.

I can not deny that I am still confused between the longing to return to love, and desire to feel again.
time ago I took both, and I do not know who he misses most, if my body or my soul.

(Perhaps the strangest that I am)

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"Happiness is only real if shared." (Quote from the movie "In to the wild")

Is that why so much distressed me find someone?

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Life is short. Play hard. Parallel Worlds Invisibile

As Visa says: "Life is now."

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no longer do I have to hide ... There is never anyone. always locked in solitude ... Behind the bubbles do others.

Every day I go looking for people. Finding

my friends looking for someone to talk to. But the truth is there is never anyone.

Will I have few friends? ... Or is it that the few I have are never there? Among
I look and do not appear ... Between displayed and hide ... I still find the same old thing.

(And worse, just not yet)

That is why a while ago which I have been wondering whether they will change some day things at once.

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we are the party!

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Each time the world has less to grip.
I do not know if I that is moving, or is the world that is leaving me side.

We are always so worried about being cured of our troubles, we forget to see the sorrows of others.

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LIFE SOCRATES Montserratina Per fi!! Monday


Montserrat north face

say that until the top of the horse you're not Montserratian Bernard. Well, after stepping on Montserrat for years, finally this past July I made my first ascent to the horse Ponsola. Finally I can say now if I'm Montserrat now!
Also the same week for the first time I climbed the wall of Devils, by Sanchez and what feeling, what a patio under my feet! Honestly

a good gift for my cumple this year and a very good entry for my 35 years old. And as always All this would not have been possible without the people around me and more specifically in this case, without which this time has been my companion tied on Mika.

Sometimes when I look at the wall Montserrat seems incredible that I have been able to do that. Actually sometimes the universe conspires and you did it and now ... acosegueixes just continue with more peaks dreamed ...


Until next time!

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sick, sad & alone memories

is interesting - or should I say sad - how the world is moving and if you can keep moving. How life goes on her walk without your absence will come to notice.

long time ago I was admitted to the hospital for nearly two days, and no one - except my family - learned that, (I was sick and the doctor advised me where I was admitted for observation if you are interested to know why I in a hospital). However, despite being locked up there, I could see how things were going on as usual. How the world was round and life was moving forward.
Sometimes I think that one could go (and I speak not of dying) without anyone noticing until it was too late.

So we are stuck in our own lives we do not know what happens to others? Do we have to get to publish how we feel or what happens to us, so that others will give a blind eye? Or all this is nothing more than a simple lack of concern for others?

Unfortunately it in sickness, in sorrow, or in the midst of trouble when we most want to have someone watching out for us next - or at least worried about one - but it is also when more we realize how alone we can become and feel, because that is when we are most vulnerable.
that remains is to make the hard and withstand the onslaught. Total say that what does not kill you stronger.

I have tried to make me strong, but I can not quite.

To wish in silence it will Never Be Enough to Be Heard. It Becomes pointless' cause No One Can read in Absence of words. Unfortunately, Sometimes I feel Unable to Shout for help.

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exhausted, I felt well when Escribir empecé to this post. I felt without a drop of energy, my head but decided STEP siquiera mi cuerpo could drag. I felt each of my muscles to make the tiniest of movements. I just wanted to throw me down, let my body sink into the mattress and sleep and sleep ... Just wanted to charge batteries, but everything was going the other way around ... I decided as a white black and white when he was black (or at least that's how I felt)

But I could stand to see the world as a victim of this capitalist society, competitive and free time in which I live or as a discoverer of everything that I like, anything that attracts me, that bothers me, seduce me .. seeker little treasures that are sometimes dreams and sometimes they are challenges and new projects. All that is there before us, which some find it impossible to reach them even if they seem to live up to their hands and for others it is invisible because despite having hayado nor noticed because they were too accustomed to them. I always thought that these treasures, dreams and challenges teach you but recently I realized that's not them, it's me that I learn through them.

After almost black gray this week, I felt many things to do and not knowing where to start. But simplicity is not at odds with the vitality why something as simple as climbing with friends, sharing moments at dinner, laughing with someone who makes you feel good, coffee and talk, I was filled with new energy, made me feel that you can face your goals, which is now gray-white. It is not easy, but looking through what for many is daily and see beyond, perhaps, is what makes you different.


Because, as I read not too long ago, what makes us normal people to know that we are not normal.

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gray almost black "rise from the ashes" Peter Pan Syndrome

A sign ...

After his visit I feel strange, unknown, poor and lost. It's amazing how someone who seems to have nothing it all. Live like you, doing what he likes and directed there where you want. Someone crossed my path once, someone who never expected to see again, someone struck me from the ashes. Perhaps inadvertently or perhaps not wanting to admit I was leaving the ashes accompanying world l standard were covering me all this time. If I could fly like words, if I could create my own novel, if I could believe I can ...
Like a good day was another good day he left. Again I do not think we'll meet again, but woke up something in me that was too time asleep. Why do you accept? Why settle? Why not risk?
rocked my world and made me see another, you may have right and he (and those who see life like him) are normal and not the rest of the world. Zoilo was
Perhaps as a sign that made me see that for too long can not remember my dreams.
When words are not empty, love and respect.

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Portugal 2009

I do not know how or when, or why ... but one day I felt like I had won, would have been lost or not where a lot of dreams, ideas, moments. As if suddenly one day I'd realized that I had grown up.

around me things have changed, not because they are better or worse but no longer were. Maybe I'm the one who changed and did not look like the saw.

My experiences throughout this metamorphosis, both good and bad no doubt have been leading a personal growth and maturity, but have also been taking despite resist it, something that belonged to me like the spontaneity and innocence .

I am closing stages with strength and facing challenges with greater security. But I still believe I am a project that still has much to learn. I still cayéndome to go back to lifting. I feel like a sponge that has absorbed every moment, every sensation and every story and certainly want to continue doing so.

Many times, a melody from the radio, the smell of spring, the sound of rain, fall color, a voice in a bar, a photograph in the newspaper, a book shelf or a news Today, we move to a point somewhere or someone remind us, remind us of a sad feeling or not, most of the time are reflections that make me smile. And is that the passage of time ended with the pain and euphoria to turn slowly into a smile. Inexplicable why so sometimes when I go walking, shopping, biking and even swimming, I'm smiling. Other times someone think I speak but I can barely understand it says, is like a whisper in the distance while the corners of my lips a smile. In those moments I live almost as real but are not and are blurred with reality, I realize how lucky I was to live and learn stories with people who did incredible. The chance to meet the players, all those that could be the characters in a novel. But the fate many of those times must be sought and therefore I want to keep writing that puzzle, I still have concerns, I want to set challenges and not have to give up because ... clear " my age do not touch."

know it is not possible to continue playing to be higher because I'm older, but it's great to be more smiling from the memories and looking for something more from what is to come.

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Equilibrium Music

remember to "Exodus" and my mind travels to San Joaquin Campus Catholic, while studying Industrial Civil and started just to know the former progressive rock radio future (when still playing good music and radio was "vast minority"). Magellan remember, Strangelove, XTC, Dead Can Dance, Catherine Weel, Pulsar, and many others playing in my headphones while walking alone on campus.

Now Playing "Lonely soldier boy" Lancer (anyone who has seen Robotech knows who I mean) ... I can not help but remember that night when the woman he loved told me goodbye ... I can not mourn as well as around this time (only I happen to get to hear a sad song like that in a moment).

And so I write the soundtrack of my life ... What will be the next song?

"Lonely soldier boy"
(Lancer)

After all of the Battles Are Over,

After all of the fighting is done,
Will you be the one
To find yourself alone with your heart?
(looking for the answers...)

When it feels like
tomorrow will never come,
When it seems like the night would not end,
Can you pretend
That you're really not alone?

You're out here on your own.
Lonely soldier boy.
You're out here on your own.
Lonely soldier boy.
Yes I'm lonely, but are you alone?

Lonely soldier boy.
With all the glory, without the joy,
A lonely soldier boy...

Do you believe in the causes
you're fighting for?
You used to believe yesterday.
Now what can you say,
Now that you're so far from home?

You're out here on your own,
Lonely soldier boy.
You're all alone,
Lonely soldier boy.
But are you really alone?
Lonely soldier boy...

You're out here on your own,
Lonely soldier boy.
But are you really alone?
Lonely soldier boy.
You're out here on your own,
Lonely soldier boy.
Are you lonely, out here on your own...

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A year here and another there, so I was spending the last years.
A year celebrating my birthday here at home, and another there in my other home ... played there this year but could not be and I'm here ... a different year because the fact of not being there has hindered my time here .
So I reached my 35 years wishing and looking disconnect between the mountain walls, a refugee from technological signals and forgetting the world.
In recent months my head functioned as a calculator, doing everything that is supposed to do and suddenly I got to this point almost without an iota of energy. Therefore these 4 days off have been the best gift you can do ... all of a sudden it was like entering another dimension, my crazy little head was disconnected and my mind stopped spinning without stopping, letting my body almost floating between limestone walls and crystal clear waters. No preservatives, coloring agents, natural way the world saw as the sun set to appear again on the horizon hours later ... a light show and emotions that occur every day of the year but if he slips go from there to there, running, always arriving late and always trying to extend the day a little more until your body says enough is enough and falls exhausted, to enter into a sleep so deep that there is only a slight mark from the corner of your lips. It took months without remembering my dreams ... took months without stopping for a minute, took months without disconnecting ...
For all that, today, on my last day of work than any other year I remember that long-awaited holiday, again put out my small computer on board and I will miss the mountains, dreams and sunsets.

Sadernes 15 juliol 2009

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Farewell my little Earth

But I'm not mistaken. Loneliness is not having no one close, and feel in the middle of nowhere. Loneliness is also not feel that nobody cares, nobody loves you, or you have no friends.

Soledad is that each person has their own path, isolated and distinct from any other person. Everyone walks on his own tracks. The same that shape and define the life of each.

Maybe could have a lot of people on my side, but feel close to anyone because its steps are different from mine. I can also treat steps to bring my people, but this is a task that I got tired of repeating, because I do not get anything. And at the end

that was my mistake: when I thought to find someone who walked - and I walk - to me ... eventually prove that no matter how I twist my steps ever closer. Today

look from the parallelism of the way - as someone tried to teach me. Today only look in my own footsteps makes me happy. Dedicated to MPDT

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Off My Utopia

live free ... this is my utopia.
is true that I do not know who is living in a war, in a post-war or under a totalitarian system, nor do I want to know. I lived in a democracy, but I am aware and have allowed determining with my own eyes the ravages of oppression and violation of human rights over other people in other corners of the world, as far as we think ...
If so, few would choose, it's sort of where you are born. But is not that freedom of which I now speak.

My utopia is to live free in a free society is to feel free in a free world.
do not know if it is a condidión of human beings in general, not if it is inherited through genes or just a legacy of educational and social habits do not really know where the source ... but I do know that the result comes from where comes is the tax that we demand of ourselves and our facility to curtail our own freedoms and those of others.
received as many education based on respect for others and responsibility, and as I left too many influences shaping the society in which I live, and of course I like other marked my own experiences. Everything that shaped me as a person and after 35 years here I'm planting freedom as a utopia.

I would not want to offend many who still live oppressed by a few or they lived well in a still recent past as the lack of that freedom can be achieved, is not a utopia, it's just not stay impassive face some facts unjustified, although many we coward or selfish and not move a finger, apologizing that we can not do anything when really what happens is that it affects us directly. Nevertheless, I still think, and this is not a utopia, a different world is possible.

But now my thoughts are directed to other freedoms, freedom of self, my utopia:
live free from fear, free from restrictions, free from prejudice ... Inentando help and learning to love without asking anything in return. Understanding and enjoying every moment.

Regardless of all these thoughts and even though I try every day I still think this is my greatest utopia.

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say you can not lose what you never had.

For my part, I think it is possible to wonder what they ever wanted. And that ... can be as painful as the above ... and unfortunately it's pathetic too.

Sip. Striving to think of something or someone that could not be is lie down willingly, and that is complete nonsense.

is true that one does not choose to be in love - because feelings are sent alone, and for this there is nothing to do - also do not choose our dreams and aspirations - because I think they work just like the taste, depend the essence of each one of us, and you do not choose to do something like that like it or not -.

But we can choose how much weight to give each thing that happens in life. And this he can determine how much more or much less something or someone we can reach affected.

However, there are certain things against which you can not fight ... = '(

"The only people who might hurt us are those who want to" Anonymous.

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It Might Not Be the Right Time
I Might Not Be the right one
But There's Something about us I want to say
Cause There's Something Between Us anyway

I Might Not Be The Right One
It Might Not Be the Right Time
But There's Something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you

I need you more Than anything in my life
I Want You More Than Anything in my life
I'll Miss You More Than Anyone in my life
I Love You More Than Anyone in my life

© ® All rights reserved to the author of the work.

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rare ¿¿¿?? o. .. "Just different?

Because sometimes being different does not have to be negative ...

because they follow a standard need not mean being weird ...

and that want more can sometimes be very good !!!!!!!!

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Time ...

And I keep buying books, computers, placed. Each of them reminds me a place, a journey, a time, one person, a mood. No, not that simply collects, acquires a small treasure, something that does not make it cost as a mortgage or that they go out of style like some shoes. Something that over the years will continue at my side.

collect At the moment thinking about that moment in my life I have time to read and enjoy.

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Searching ... Ja

Mallorca 2009

At last I'm back here, I have a feeling I was away all those months ago, however I did not go anywhere, but I was absent too much. And though I never left at all, I wonder how is the return of someone who never left?

was 4 months without making one of the things I like ... writing.

Anyway life is spinning freely, and I love that. But everything happens so fast I get dizzy just thinking about it, especially when one has the feeling of not stopping, not knowing that and not keep looking.

No, these months have not been to Africa or just traveling, but despite it left me memories ...

remember the protests by Bologna in college, I remember that different is living at home with more people, I remember climbing with friends, drinking with friends and laugh a few times and mourn but with other friends. And I remember one day, returning to the airport as almost every Wednesday of these months ago, but it rained and did so with enthusiasm, too much traffic and was moving so slowly that hardly without realizing it, I noticed the cars and I had about ... look everyone will like every morning to work another day. Suddenly I looked through the glass and let's see, it rained so much that you could barely see anything and my mind flew. Suddenly and without control, began to fall and fall when I realized that I was like others, would like every morning to the work I have never seen as definitive but who came every morning. Fell so fast that just when he was about to hit me on the floor I heard the car horn and turned back to reality.

I do not know why but I'm looking for.

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have passat quatre anys ... Now I know

avui Tot just fa quatre anys that will sedate per semper et, tot just avui fa quatre anys that last FEIA et petó that per last vegada et tocava that i felt the last teu ale .. . but not a sun segon durant aquests quatre anys no You no longer beside me. Wherever you are I'd love to know that you feel proud of your daughter and your dreams, probably a little crazy for you. These four years I was touched and very mature, maybe it could be said that this project was that when you leave a woman begins to have no definite shape and knows where and what you want, maybe I'm not the kind of woman who would want a father for his daughter but I've always been myself.

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Lugrin in some of Africa ...


Fuimos eternos rendimos while not us. Pero lo hicimos ...
them both.

Learning each and every moment has its eternidad love is eternal in that moment.

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2009 ...

If at the beginning of 2008 by Peruvian soil I felt like a seagull who left the band because he wanted something more, now I'm starting in 2009 as a seagull trapped it is too dependent on the flock.
Now on balance I must admit that I spent an entire 2007 and 2008 media fly like a seagull, a bit aimlessly without stop dreaming, free and very tall. Instead the second part of 2008 was totally different, it was like being gull wings and fight without trying to reach a place, almost touching but fail in the attempt, and on and on fighting for it not yet see a way out. All came but how difficult this is. .. If good and who said things were going to be easy?
But I just want to fly ... and enjoy doing it, smiling almost without realizing it and keep dreaming about something different ...

If it is more or less a year would come home with more than food in the belly but with a smile, if I was faced with an attack of malaria, a mystical experience as I said Kapucisnki, alone on a flight des Africa and I came home a week later but with a smile ... such as that in these early 2009 a damn flu here in the first world, at home with everything in my power, I have been spending six days now, whole in bed?

is clear that the strength that is within each of us up where we want, but not always where we do not want out of o. .. maybe if?

smile and live every moment of this 2009 (for 2 +9 are 11)